I wrote something in second person and played Internet detective

I've never written anything second person before.

It's all Figment's fault. Second person is the funky perspective of the writing world. He lives in a cardboard box outside the club, and when writers suggest approaching him, everyone raises their eyebrows and tries to gently discourage it. He's okay in short doses. A spot rabid. Difficult to handle. Like a raccoon.

I love the Internet because it enables me.
Anyway, the prompt was:

Uh, lots of things are more romantic, Figment. Like holding hands. Or free cake. 
But I've never let a creepy prompt deter me!


"Ten winners will be chosen at random to win?" What illiterate moron wrote this? 

So I wrote a little P+FD and then shifted my focus to making a second person story where a literature anthology falls in love with a student. It's a silly bit of derivative nonsense, but anytime I get to quote Keats or Shakespeare, I'm happy. 

And you know what, this prompt is a silly bit of derivative nonsense too:



I'm not a fan of Figment at the moment. I've never been angry at Figment —not for their heart contests, lack of tragedy as a genre — in all the years I've been with them. But I'm ticked now. 

Anyway, Internet detective work? 

On Facebook, everyone kept citing Jodie Picoult's book, Between the Lines, as the source of this contest, which is nice and all, but I think that the Figment staff got their idea from the far more similar Tumblr post, which answered a challenge from TheMetaPicture.com

The Fig staff don't read much offline, it seems sometimes. (See date of death of  Ray Bradbury when they selected the homepage theme to be a pop star's wedding.)

And Tumblr answered. (Too long for me to post here.) 

Now, I'm one of the least Internet savvy people in existence, and I don't use Tumblr, so how did I detective this pointless nonsense instead of working on P+FD?

Well, I frequent Pinterest, where people frequently post Tumblr screenshots, and this Tumblr post made the Pinterest "Geek" circuit several weeks back. 

So between all this absurdity, I can up with an absurd idea and wrote a thing, and it's in second person, and here it is. It's yet another response to the Metapicture prompt, with a nod to the Tumblr response, combined with Billy Collins's fabulous poem "Marginalia" from Picnic Lightning, which you should just buy and read and keep forever. Forget all this other nonsense. 

He's incredible. 

Anyway, here's my story:



I also made a cover for once! Someone give me a gold star!


Have a happy weekend.