She flew to the headquarters of Grüger Corp and perched outside the biggest, fanciest office she could identify from the outside of the gleaming glass and metal monstrosity. Of course, it was nighttime, so no one was there. Willow waited, assuming that the industrious president of Grüger Corp would be one of the first people in the building, ready to make money and seal deals.
Willow groaned and stretched out on her tree branch trying to stay out of sight as morning stretched into early afternoon and the president’s—she hoped it was the president’s—secretary came in and out of the office, leaving papers on the desk
Finally, around lunchtime, and Willow’s stomach grumbling, a man came in the office and sat down. She waited until night fell like a purple blanket, other employees trickling out of the building.
She tried to stealthily open the window to the office from the outside, but that did not really work. Impatient and hungry, Willow crashed through the window.
The man shrieked and rolled backwards in his desk chair, crashing into the wall. Willow stalked towards him.
At that same moment across the city, Sam leaned in towards his vanity and expertly applied his violet and gold eye-shadow. “What sort of a woman is she?”
Rulash sighed. “She’s incredible.”
“Obviously,” murmured Sam. “Details, please.”
The fairy king was too overcome by his feelings and too used to Sam swapping genders to pay attention as Sam picked his brunette wig off its stand and put it on. He had such a delicate face that the transformation had been startling the first time Rulash witnessed it. Now it was like watching someone put on a shirt.
Except, Sam admitted to himself, he had seen Rulash put on a shirt, and he didn’t think it was the same at all.
“She’s gorgeous. Fierce.”
“I don’t know what a Beyonce is,” said Rulash. “Willow is—was an elite warrior in my army.”
“Fairies have armies?” Sam asked, skeptical.
“Of course, who else is going to keep the Fumberboxes in line?”
“What’s a Fumberbox?”
“I believe,” said Rulash, after a moment of contemplation while Sam applied his lipstick, “it is a douchebag.”
“I don’t think you have the right word,” said Sam in his husky, feminine voice as he rose from his vanity.
A beat. Then Rulash gave a lazy, knee-melting smirk that almost made Sam believe the crazy man was royalty. “I think I do.” The self-claimed fairy king turned and ruffled his hair. “Willow kills douchebags, as chosen by me.”
Willow grabbed the president of Grüger Corp, slamming him against his desk with one hand and covering his mouth with the other. Wings outstretched and a scowl on her face, she straddled his chest and spoke in her angriest, most menacing voice.
“You have acquired a beautiful valley and are planning to make it into a packaging plant, an industrial dump. If you move forward with your plan, I’m warning you now. I will destroy you.”
The dialogue sounded almost as bad as REVENGE OF THE METAL MAN. Willow blamed this on the adrenaline rush. It had been so long since she’d fought someone.
“I am going to take my hand away from your mouth,” she said, “and I want you to say you won’t build the packaging factory.”
Willow removed her hand.
“Security!” screamed the president like a stuck pig, his voice ringing in Willow’s sensitive ears and down the hallway. “Help!”
Willow punched him in the face, breaking his nose, and fled through the broken window.